Why does his story, on the news, hold you?
Because the beautiful young man’s eyes
were hungry and deep.
Teenaged boy killed his brothers and himself.
Why this particular story?
The photos of him—handsome face—deep brown eyes,
haunted eyes, seer’s eyes,
seeing far, seeing past.
You had no knowledge beyond press reports.
Fifteen—“all his life ahead of him”,
choosing to exit and take his brothers with him.
Had his brothers betrayed him,
teased him,
taunted him?
Somehow let him down?
He could not say it all,
tell it all.
It overwhelmed him.
He got a gun and used
it, instead of words or painting.
If only he could have expressed his anger,
his disappointment.
If only they saw or heard—
If only—
You cannot understand the violence,
the killing of his brothers.
But, the extreme sadness,
disappointment,
despair, disillusion,
these, you understand.
And the anger,
the explosion of emotions
in chest and head.
Finding
no hope,
no understanding,
no hearing,
no listening.
Feeling no caring.
They say they love
but there is
no feeling.
Ancient, sensitive soul could take no more.
If only,
he could have
found a way to dance,
to drum, to sing,
to paint, to carve,
to spell it all out.
If only—
The Zetta Angus Papers 